Big Fat Failure... Literally.

I'm sucking, you guys. SUCKING at Biggest Loser. SUCKING at winning my $400 plus a new dress plus new shoes to match. SUCKING! so i'm having an intervention on myself. But let's take a look at my efforts thus far.

1. I use my elliptical. I actually get on the thing and sweat for at least a half an hour in the smelly basement while my fat dog lays down there with me to keep me company and my sweet neurotic pooch sits vigil at the top of the steps with her head peeking around with sad eyes, terrified that I will flee the premises at any given moment. Remind me to get those pooches some extra treats when I'm out again.

2. I've cut my food intake by 1/2 (i haven't calculated this, but it has to be at least half. it feels like half. it has to be half.)

3. And i've substituted my beloved pop for coke zero. and water. and crystal light. none of those semi-quenching beverages have anything in them (okay coke zero has a pinch of sodium, so shoot me).

4. I literally count out a serving of baked ruffles. BAKED RUFFLES you guys. i've become numb to the artificial taste and devour them as if they are mikesell's groovy reduced fat potato chips (oh how i miss my mikesell's- which by the way, the reduced fat taste EXACTLY like the regular chips and not taste-the-same like coke zero tastes like real coke. um, no. this time it's the truth). I make sure each chip last as long as possible because I can only eat 9 friggin' chips. NINE CHIPS! i ran out of my beloved reduced-fat wheat thins- a food so forgiving you can eat 15 for the same effect as 9 chips, so I've been even more careful with my chip consumption.

5. I chose a SALAD over CHICKEN N DUMPLINGS at my birthday dinner... at Cracker Barrel... the leading factor in clogged arteries across America. Come on- that right there deserves at least $150, right?

6. I even measure out my servings of pasta and mashed potatoes! I get the stupid measuring cup out, pack it full of my mac n cheese or noodles and dump it on my plate. You guys, that is BIG for me because i'm the girl that eats mac n cheese for breakfast.

7. I've succombed to printing out photos of my blue dress and hanging them in strategic places to remind me of what will appease the depth of my soul.

And let's look at what I haven't done

1. I haven't been able to resist dipping my finger into the tub o' frosting in the fridge leftover from my adventures in cupcake baking. just one *heaping* scoop after work to tide me over the 15 minutes before Hubz gets home. luckily for me, he polished it off last nite while watching "Doom" (really, Doom. don't ask. Everyone else in America was watching the 6OT UConn/Cuse game and my hubs was watching Doom on TNT.)

2. I haven't had a consistent work out routine. Last nite I blamed it on getting work done (which I really did need to do). Every other nite I've blamed it on being lazy. PLUS I haven't had soccer in FOREVER which means I need to be abusing that machine on Thursdays in lieu of having a game. I do not.

3. I had a whole doughnut this morning. And I'm considering a piece of my Diet Coke cake and a small piece of brownie. Nuff said.

4. I may have cut back on the amount of food I eat, but I haven't really incorporated the healthy stuff much. I need to get some veggies and dips for my snacking impulses.

5. I honestly haven't felt the motivation (as if STILL wearing maternity jeans wasn't enough) It's very hard- I think- to watch what you eat when the whole house isn't involved... and the whole house doesn't eat healthy stuff unless it's the last bit of food to be found and the house is really only eating out of boredom (as much as you argue that you're hungry, house, you're not. you're bored). There is little motivation to go down into the smelly basement when the rest of the house is upstairs watching more than 3 fuzzy channels on tv. And it doesn't help when the rest of the house blames their indecisive food choices for a meal on not knowing "what you can eat". I can eat food, thank you. I'm just sayin'.

6. And damn you girl scout cookies for falling into the season of Lent AND Biggest Loser!

What I vow to do.

1. Buy veggies this weekend for my new veggie and fruit enriched adventure. my struggle is my palette is not very adventurous, so "fancy" food is out for me... which leaves me few choices (and YES, i've tried fancy food and I don't like it.)

2. Read the suggestions on "filling foods" and take those suggestions (what about reduced fat triscuits? think those will work? regular ones fill me up to the brim and maybe I can eat MORE per serving of the reduced fat? yeah?).

3. Schedule the workouts and stick to them as close as possible, pending Little Miss' bedtime stays consistent (I like to workout after she's gone to bed to ensure maximum playtime with her after work). In the instance that she becomes like her mother was at her age and decides that nite time is play time, I shall come up with a Plan B that does not include getting up before my regularly schedule time.

4. i'm sure there's more, but i'll have to figure out most of that in time.

so there you have it. my failure as a dieter. i'm sure there will be more to come on this.


side note :: can i just say that i passed up CHICKEN N DUMPLINGS AGAIN for SALAD! i'm serious here!! but i still had some Diet Coke cake and a small brownie... :-)

another side note :: i promise i'll get back to the work as well. i need to take some photos this weekend to make that possible, but trust me... i've been working like a dog. here's proof

that's not the final (or her photos... those are mine from our zoo trip) but close enough. see. i'm working.