Reality Hits

I've now found out that "dieting" (gasp- she said the "D" word out loud! yes, i said it. i'm not proud of it, but i'll own this one) can very well be equated to pregnancy. awkward, uncomfortable and all-consuming.
Hear me out.

I've been at this thing for 2 weeks. 2 measly weeks I tell you and I'm driving myself mad. How many points is that? How many do I have left? Can I eat that? What IS that? It rules your thoughts and it's all you can think about... just like being pregnant.

How are you doing with your program? Did you lose this week? How are you losing- What are you doing? People want to ask how you're sticking to your plan, but they don't want to insinuate that you're overweight or that you should be on the program at all, yet they want to comment positively if you ARE doing well and motivate you. It's all you can talk about with other people because, like I said before, it rules your thoughts and actions... just like being pregnant.

"Oh, no thank you. I don't want any double chocolate chip rum cake with extra rich super fudge topping." WHAA?? "Oh no thank you. I don't care for a delicious glass of Coca-Cola/Merlot/Cristal. I would kill for a nice glass of ice water, however." WHAA?? "Oh I would love to have a nice Garden Salad with no fat dressing instead of that Cheeseburger with extra cheese, mayo and ketchup, please. Oh yes, that would be just perfect." WHAA? Exactly. You have to give up everything that is good TO you for things that are good FOR you. No caffeine, no chocolate, no greasy goodness and no alcohol... just like being pregnant.

And then the ever so popular... I WEIGH WHAT?!... just like being pregnant.

The one thing that makes dieting and pregnancy worth all the complaining is the end result. One perfect little munchkin and one perfect little tush. Now, I've got the perfect little munchkin part down. I just need to find the perfect little tush underneath all the padding I've been hoarding back there.

Those of you looking to suppress a sweet tooth without ruining your whole day- go here and follow all the steps- even the food coloring because food coloring just makes us happy. I'd even say take a gander at her whole site... that girl is good.


So, that little download I've been talking about. I can't figure out how to make the blasted thing a download, so I'm uploading a jpg into flickr and you can download it from there. I suggest "Original Size". If you have problems, send me an email and I can email a PDF to you. Friggin' technology.



I give you my grocery list/coupon teller/meal planner. I print out a bunch front and back, fold in half and then staple together on the spine (saddle stitch for you fancy pants people) like a book. It allows me to look back on other weeks to see what I've bought and if I really do need another tub o' mayonnaise or if the one I bought 2 weeks ago should tide us over for a little longer.

It just might change your life... BUT please don't go mass producing and selling this as your own. I'll find you... I promise you this.

But, back to the download... not only is your grocery list NEXT to your meal plan for the week, but you have somewhere to write down what COUPONS you have. Because we all know you're that lady that brings EVERY coupon you own in a #10 business sized envelope and every time you come across an item you THINK you saw a coupon for or you can't remember how many you have to buy to use the coupon, you stop and rifle thru your stash... blocking aisles, canned goods and non-perishables.

I know, I know, you're all going- WHAAAA? Not ME! Oh, no no no. Yes. You. You do it. I've been in the aisle when you do it and it drives me insane. So, please download this and use it. Feedback would be great too. I've been using it now for 2 years trying to work out the kinks and I think I've got it where it helps me out. So, help me help you.